my missive to God

So, I’m sitting in front of my computer, and tears are streaming down my face so hard I can barely see my screen…

I just spent an hour or so on the phone with Sweetpea, consecrating the next week of prayer and fasting to You. I am so afraid right now, that I feel like a five year old waiting on the monsters to come out of my closet.

I’m afraid that Sweetpea won’t hear a “Yes” from You to getting engaged. My flesh, my reactive attachment disorder is screaming…and it’s only by Your grace that I’m holding it in check.  The only thing I can do is fling myself on Your word that you will not give Your children a scorpion when the ask for bread.

I’m incredibly thankful, Lord, that you’ve given me nearly a year with a woman of an incredible godly character.  Never before have I had a relationship where anyone so clearly challenged my to live my dreams, and to follow after You with complete abandon…

God, I pray very, very selfishly that you would grant me this incredible woman as my bride.  I know you’ve prepared a godly woman for me, and I beg You that You reveal to us both that she’s the woman that You’ve prepared.

Grant her family discernment that they might give her confirmation of Your word to her regarding our future.  Grant my family the same discernment, that we may clearly hear Your voice guiding us in Your wisdom for our future.

Lord, in your mercy…

Hear my prayer.

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